Blergh

I drank last night.

I am so so pissed off with myself, I had done over 2 weeks alcohol free and I was feeling great. My bloated tummy had gone down, my moods were improving, my face lost its redness, everything was good, and then I screwed it all up.

I drank because we had finished my daughters birthday party – 6 kids and a theme park, we didn’t lose anyone, there was no tears, we had a pretty good bloody day and then I felt the need to finish it off with booze – big mistake. What I should have done – I know this now and if I’m honest with myself I knew it at the time as well, was to let hubby go to the pub by himself (which he was happy to do), plonk the kids in front of a movie and plonked myself in a nice hot deep bath, but oh no instead I invited myself to the pub with hubby – 3 wines and then a bottle to share on the way home – blergh.

Totally NOT worth it, I feel like complete crap – my eyes look like piss holes in the snow, I have that horrid taste in my mouth that won’t go away – no matter how much I brush my teeth or suck on mints, my tummy is sick, my head is foggy, my mood is though the floor and beyond. I have a long busy day at work and all I want to do is go back to bed and hide from the world, wake up tomorrow morning in a better place.

A few hours of drinking is totally not worth a whole day of crappyness.

One good thing to come out of this – I know 100% I do not want to drink on my holiday – I do not want one day wasted because of bloody drink.

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3 thoughts on “Blergh

  1. Pubs are dangerous places. Baths are much better.
    Do you have support? Have you been to AA? Therapy? Do you have a sober friend to text when you are considering drinking?
    Does your husband know you want to stop?

    Today is a great day to continue on. You tried drinking again. It sounds like it didn’t offer much except pain.

    You can do this. Life is so much easier!
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh crap 😩…. I totally get where you are coming from. I did the same so many times. Keep trying and one of these times sobriety will stick! Great advice from the others. Be kind to yourself today 😘

    Like

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